A number of people have said to me in recent years that I’m not the same teacher I used to be, that I’m not as strict or tough. At first this worried me, I thought that maybe I’d let my standards slip, that I wasn’t as good as I used to be or maybe I wasn’t invested enough, but I knew deep down that this wasn’t true, I’m the best teacher I’ve ever been. Then I realised that it’s actually a good thing, I should be different, if I were the same teacher that I was 30 years ago something would be wrong, there would have been no evolution or growth, no learning and developing of skills.
Being a young teacher is tough! It’s hugely intimidating to stand in front of a group of people especially if you’re teaching teenagers and seniors with the attitude and moodiness, constantly pushing the boundaries. The only way to survive is to be tough, to take no nonsense. But as time goes on you learn how to work with the students as they go through their own stages of growth and change, as they’re learning who they are and how they fit into this world, you develop the skills to meet them where they’re at and help them to be the best they can be at that given moment.
Most kids come to dance class because they want to be there, a few may be there because their Mum is still desperate for a little ballerina long after the child has moved on from that particular dream, but most do want to be there. Not all come for the dancing, I will never forget the student who freely admitted that she came for the socialising and spent the whole class moving spots and chatting with everyone in the room, but that’s important too and has a value.
I think that the students who challenge us the most are those who seem disinterested, who don’t try or who just give up. This has certainly been a trigger point for me because I was always shamed if I didn’t try; if something didn’t work, it was because I hadn’t tried hard enough, so I’ve been conditioned to think that not trying equals something bad, but there is so much more going on. The dancer who gives up does so because they lack confidence, they don’t believe in themselves, they’re scared of being judged or looking stupid. It’s not because they don’t care, but quite often because they care very much and they don’t want to get it wrong, so berating their lack of effort does little to help the situation. The skill lies in understanding why they aren’t trying, in providing a space in which they feel safe and helping them to develop the self-esteem and mindset which enables them to push themselves and fully reach their potential.
These are the skills that I didn’t have as a young teacher, but time and experience teaches us, and now I can work WITH my dancers, it’s a collaboration, they bring what they can and it varies from class to class and together we find a way for them to grow and flourish.
So the next time you find yourself wound up or frustrated by a student’s behaviour, take a moment to ask yourself why, what does this situation trigger in you? And then ask why the dancer is behaving in that way; what is going on for them? It may take a little longer than just telling them off, but it is far more effective in the long term and far more skillful.
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